Category Archives: finding my way

Broken Promises

I know that I never talked about my new years resolutions. This is what I promised my self I would do this year.

1.Get in shape

2. Keep my house cleaner

3. Be better at this stay at home mom thing

4. Start my ideas for my book

5.Spend more time playing with my son

These were my five promises, that i have already broken. Im not getting into shape, even though I said I would. I got a kinnect for my Xbox and then went out and got fitness evolved 2012, it basically turns my living room into a home gym. I was doing great the first week, I was following the program, I ended up loosing seven pounds. then the last 2 weeks nothing, I havent been finding time to even turn it on to try. I ended up gaining ten pounds, so now I weigh more than when I started. Really need to try to get back to that one.

I wanted to become the perfect stay at home mom, which also means keeping my house super clean all the time, which means dishes are done, laundry is done, and everything else is spotless. Instead its more like the same as it was before, dishes at least made it to the sink. pile of clean laundry that has yet to be folded in two weeks. I have a pile of laundry that still needs to be done. So much for that one.

I also wanted to get started on ideas for the book I want to write. I always knew I was going to write one. Instead I started a blog, that has seven posts I wont even read over cause Im sure I wont like them. I went out and got a book on how to get ideas for writing a book. ironic isn’t it? I havent had one good idea that could turn into a novel. Maybe this one will come to me later.

Lastly, I wanted to spend more time playing with my son, but instead its more like I try to play with him, he gets frustrated and throws a tantrum because he wants to do it himself. I just leave him to his own devices now, until he decides he can play nicely. He did however say a word, it was “duck”. Now when i ask him what he wants, he says duck for everything. At least its a step in the right direction.

There are my resolutions, and I barely even tried to fill them. Their just broken promises now. Oh well better luck next year.


The Invader Is Landing

So hubby let me know he is on his way home today.

YAY! So now that means it is time to get down to the grind, before the invader lands in my home.

This means I have dishes to be done, laundry to be thrown in the wash to make it look like I actually did something, and the rest of the general house chores I neglect while he is gone.

Why does he have to come home today, why can’t I have at least another day, he’s only been gone a week. Now don’t get me wrong I love my hubby very much, but when he comes home, I need to have the house in perfect order and pretend it was that way all along, sometimes I just dread the homecoming, I feel like he is taking over my space. You see when he’s gone I am solely responsible for everything, and I don’t need to share my bed or not watch TV in the evening in the fear of waking him up, and I can sleep in the middle of the bed. He comes home and I’m forced into the corner because he takes over, hence why I call him the invader.

Here is usually how the homecoming goes, he blows in at 9 at night and he drops all his dirty clothes in the entry way along with a rig bag and some really dirty boots, he usually reeks like expired gas (if only there was such thing). He usually never has the decency to shower before he heads home from work. Then he usually says hello to me sheds the rest of his clothes and goes to bed and that is that.

So is it so wrong for me to want him to stay at work just a little longer?

Fridays That Feel More Like Mondays

Fridays in my house, seem to be a little bit of a blur, R wakes up he goes to the bathroom, he either has oatmeal or cereal, which never ends up getting eaten, usually ends up topside on the floor. I think, “Oh joy, I have this to look forward to as well”. My sink is already full of dishes because my landlord yesterday came to replace the dishwasher that only works half the time and he realized they gave him the wrong one, it wasn’t the one he ordered, by the time he realized it was the wrong one he already had the old one uninstalled, so I had to wait for him to put the old one back in. I didn’t know installing a dishwasher took like 3 hours.

It doesn’t help that I don’t feel like doing anything this morning because ruby was up 3 times last night screaming for very unknown reason. I hate waking up feeling exhausted and lazy, I am on my 3rd cup of coffee and I can’t feel a difference. R is getting into something, they say when your toddler is quiet, he is doing something he is not supposed to, but here is the difference. Ruby is 18 months and he doesn’t want to talk yet. So therefore he is always quiet. He is quite a handful on any given day.

Hubby has been at work for 4 days, and I miss him, we live in a land where things are plenty, like the foot of snow we got last night, and the -20 degree temperature we got this morning is a little bit awful, so if things are plentiful then why do I feel like work is not, hubby had 3 weeks off at Christmas time when most others did not, I wish he could work a little bit more then he does, maybe things would be a little better if there was plenty of work, but more often then not, he ends up at home for 3 weeks without even knowing when he will be back at work.

Here’s how the work life goes in my house, I stay home and I make sure that the dishes and laundry gets done, the garbage gets taken out [which I forgot this morning], R gets fed and played with, some days he actually gets to watch TV but there is only so much Jake and the never land pirates I can watch. Hubby goes to work when ever they phone him; he comes home when they tell him [usually about an hour before he gets here], and he sits at home and waits for them to phone him to go back, which we never know when that will happen, usually I try to make sure the house is clean when he gets here, an hour notice isn’t a whole lot. He forgives me if its not done.

Lately home work has been a little challenging, waiting for a new dishwasher to be installed having a toddler who doesn’t want to take his afternoon nap and the plenty of other things that need to be done, I’m just not feeling it lately I know I have to do it or it will drive me crazy, I’m just so tired and I cant drag myself to do it, I know hubby is out there working hard and I should be to, hubby job is potentially dangerous where the only thing dangerous about my job is a toddler who gets his hands on a pen.

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and thinking it’s a Monday. R has misplaced my mouse.