My Quest For Dora

As of lately my son has been watching a lot of Dora the explorer, he is sick and it is the only thing that calms him down.

For almost a week it’s been nothing but Dora. While I was watching Dora today with him it reminded me of when I was in high school, my friends and I used to do a lot of crazy shit.

This particular day we were about 15 at the time and we decided we were going to buy a Dora backpack with the map and everything. Like the idiots we were back then we decided we were going to go on Dora’s map quest. We had to find a blue key, a yellow car in order to be able to get ice cream.

We wandered through the mall asking everyone if they had seen my blue key, and showed them Dora’s map, and everyone thought we were crazy, except this one mom, and she gave us a plastic blue key, from one of those baby rings.

We were extremely excited we had a blue key now we just needed to get a yellow car, and that would take some difficulty so we jumped on the bus and started talking about our quest for the yellow car, and everyone on the bus thought we were crazy.

One guy said to me that maybe I needed to phone the teen help line, and he pointed to one of the advertisements on the bus just above my head, I picked up my cell phone and dialled the number, I know what your thinking she must actually be crazy. I got through to a teen help lady and so I told her about my quest for Dora. I am a drama queen and using this to my advantage I started to cry, claiming “ I Cant find my little yellow car, now Dora’s going to be mad and I wont get ice cream”. This caused hysterics on the bus. Here is a 15 year old crying to the teen help line cause she cant find ice cream for Dora. Now that I think back on it, it was probably pretty hilarious to everyone, except maybe the teen help lady.

The teen lady thought I had a huge problem, what 15 year old would cry over Dora, so she patched me through to the suicide hotline, and they asked me what the problem was so I began to explain, and she said to me “ I don’t enjoy you teenager prank calling us, so please don’t phone again”.

Anyways we never did get the yellow car or the ice cream and I shortly forgot about it soon after, until of course my son wanted to watch Dora. So I thought I would share this not so proud moment of my high school years and maybe you can laugh about it to.


Parenting Ideals

The parent I always thought I would be and the parent that I am.

When your little and you dream of getting married and having children, all the visions of having that family is perfect. Then you actually get pregnant and your ideals change just a little you imagine having an easy, little baby, that is all cute smiles and giggles who listens so intently to what you say.

Then you end up in labor in the hospital and it is nothing like what you imagined.  The baby comes out and he may be cute, usually their heads are all squished and they look like an alien.

They usually behave really well in the hospital, I know for me R was a perfect little angel, he barely cried, I fed him every 3 hours, and he slept. So then I still had a little hope that he was a perfect little baby, until I got him home, then he actually started to show his true colors, waking up and puking everywhere, and stinky diapers, and he didn’t sleep more than 2 hours at a time, this is what we should have been expecting all along. So now throw a baby in with my hubby’s work schedule, so here I am after 47 hours of labor and a c section and I am so tired I can barely get up off the couch, and hubby is at work, and is going to be there for at least the first 3 weeks I had R, so all in all by the end of the first 6 months, I am still as tired as if I just had a baby, and they don’t tell you about the resentment you will feel toward a spouse that is never there.

I always thought I would be a good parent, I would be one of those people who takes her child into the mall and he is happy to just sit in the stroller and watch me shop, you would never see him throw a tantrum, and every one would comment about what a good parent you are. When in reality this is what happens, you take him to the mall

Expect him to play quietly in his stroller and instead he is throwing the toys on the floor and screaming because he wants to get out, when you go to the grocery store and he’s taking boxes off the shelf and chewing through them and dumping contents on the floor.

I also never imagined being one of those parents that goes out and strikes up a conversation with some random person at the store either, but that’s exactly what I do, and for some reason I have no idea why.

What you dream parenting will be like and what it is actually are two different things, you get dirty diapers, spit up, poop on your floor, and toys everywhere that your constantly stepping on, they don’t just play quietly either. They are climbing on things and taking the dishes out of your dishwasher and emptying the contents of your garbage, and before you know it those 3 hours of cleaning you just did need to be repeated, you have a mountain of laundry that doesn’t get done very often and the clean laundry usually sits in the middle of the floor.

Things only get worse as your kids get older, they start throwing things down the stairs and breaking things, and they’re knocking your picture frames off your wall, trying to flush the toys down the toilet because it looks like a fun receptacle, and my favorite taking all your vent covers off your vents so they can dump their soother/pacifiers down there, you start potty training and their aim is horrible and they learn how to aim it just right so it goes all down your wall, the worst of all they don’t listen to anything you say they just look at you like your some kind of crazy woman, that talks just for her own enjoyment

I wouldn’t change being a parent for anything, no matter how much I think I want to. The exhaustion and everything else that goes along with it, is just apart of the experience, I have had it a little bit harder than most parents, but a little easier than some parents, I have had the financial security some parents don’t have, but also don’t have the support others have, and no one to celebrate the milestones with either. I just take the frustrations one day at a time and hope I’m still alive to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I know the fun is just beginning we haven’t even hit the terrible twos yet.

The Invader Is Landing

So hubby let me know he is on his way home today.

YAY! So now that means it is time to get down to the grind, before the invader lands in my home.

This means I have dishes to be done, laundry to be thrown in the wash to make it look like I actually did something, and the rest of the general house chores I neglect while he is gone.

Why does he have to come home today, why can’t I have at least another day, he’s only been gone a week. Now don’t get me wrong I love my hubby very much, but when he comes home, I need to have the house in perfect order and pretend it was that way all along, sometimes I just dread the homecoming, I feel like he is taking over my space. You see when he’s gone I am solely responsible for everything, and I don’t need to share my bed or not watch TV in the evening in the fear of waking him up, and I can sleep in the middle of the bed. He comes home and I’m forced into the corner because he takes over, hence why I call him the invader.

Here is usually how the homecoming goes, he blows in at 9 at night and he drops all his dirty clothes in the entry way along with a rig bag and some really dirty boots, he usually reeks like expired gas (if only there was such thing). He usually never has the decency to shower before he heads home from work. Then he usually says hello to me sheds the rest of his clothes and goes to bed and that is that.

So is it so wrong for me to want him to stay at work just a little longer?

The Potty Training Nightmare

We have been going through the stages of potty training since R was about ten months, we started with the pre potty training, for those not familiar this is where you try to get your ten month old to sit there, and if he actually went then that was just a bonus. Well it was smooth going for about the first month, until hubby came home of course, well we were getting ruby to sit there before bath time, and hubby of course always forgot or just didn’t want to, so for the last 8 months the pre potty training has been a battle with him only sitting on it 50 percent of the time.

How the hell are you supposed to start active potty training when only one of you is on board? That’s a good freaking question.

So here we are at 18 months taking the next step, and I think we are starting to finally figure this out, we tried to get hubby involved before he left, we were doing so good, R was telling us he needed to go and what not, then we have our days where we are in the bathroom and I’m just about to take his diaper off and he decides he is just going to poop there instead, this is my nightmare the last few days, every time he tells me he needs to go, we get to the bathroom, I try take his diaper off and he changes his mind and does the business in the diaper. As if to say look mom I know what to do but I don’t need to, I feel like he taunting me and trying to make my life a living nightmare.

Then it gets me thinking maybe I am just not cut out to do this parenting thing, my whole life revolves around the criticism of a one and a half year old.

He has told me numerous times he needed to go today and then went in his diaper instead, I know hes not dumb, it is extremely frustrating, same thing happened at bath time he sat there for 5 minutes the minute he was in the bath, he had to go. So I had to empty all the water and run him a new bath, he wasn’t very happy about this.

Fridays That Feel More Like Mondays

Fridays in my house, seem to be a little bit of a blur, R wakes up he goes to the bathroom, he either has oatmeal or cereal, which never ends up getting eaten, usually ends up topside on the floor. I think, “Oh joy, I have this to look forward to as well”. My sink is already full of dishes because my landlord yesterday came to replace the dishwasher that only works half the time and he realized they gave him the wrong one, it wasn’t the one he ordered, by the time he realized it was the wrong one he already had the old one uninstalled, so I had to wait for him to put the old one back in. I didn’t know installing a dishwasher took like 3 hours.

It doesn’t help that I don’t feel like doing anything this morning because ruby was up 3 times last night screaming for very unknown reason. I hate waking up feeling exhausted and lazy, I am on my 3rd cup of coffee and I can’t feel a difference. R is getting into something, they say when your toddler is quiet, he is doing something he is not supposed to, but here is the difference. Ruby is 18 months and he doesn’t want to talk yet. So therefore he is always quiet. He is quite a handful on any given day.

Hubby has been at work for 4 days, and I miss him, we live in a land where things are plenty, like the foot of snow we got last night, and the -20 degree temperature we got this morning is a little bit awful, so if things are plentiful then why do I feel like work is not, hubby had 3 weeks off at Christmas time when most others did not, I wish he could work a little bit more then he does, maybe things would be a little better if there was plenty of work, but more often then not, he ends up at home for 3 weeks without even knowing when he will be back at work.

Here’s how the work life goes in my house, I stay home and I make sure that the dishes and laundry gets done, the garbage gets taken out [which I forgot this morning], R gets fed and played with, some days he actually gets to watch TV but there is only so much Jake and the never land pirates I can watch. Hubby goes to work when ever they phone him; he comes home when they tell him [usually about an hour before he gets here], and he sits at home and waits for them to phone him to go back, which we never know when that will happen, usually I try to make sure the house is clean when he gets here, an hour notice isn’t a whole lot. He forgives me if its not done.

Lately home work has been a little challenging, waiting for a new dishwasher to be installed having a toddler who doesn’t want to take his afternoon nap and the plenty of other things that need to be done, I’m just not feeling it lately I know I have to do it or it will drive me crazy, I’m just so tired and I cant drag myself to do it, I know hubby is out there working hard and I should be to, hubby job is potentially dangerous where the only thing dangerous about my job is a toddler who gets his hands on a pen.

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and thinking it’s a Monday. R has misplaced my mouse.

Being an oilfield mom is the same thing as being a single mom

I have seen a lot of people debate what the difference is between a single mom and an oilfield mom. To be honest there probably are lots of differences, but in my opinion when your hubby/baby daddy is only around less than 15 percent of the time, then I don’t see a difference.

Oilfield moms have to be both a mommy and a daddy, because I have a son, I have to teach him to play cars and trucks and all that. Good thing I was never good at being a girl in the first place, I have to get dirty and actually do the things a dad would do [even though I’m just a stand in until he gets home] but I also have to do the things a mommy would do, clean up, diaper changes, making bottles hug and cuddles when he falls down, and teaching him the fundamentals in life, also there’s a little thing called discipline. Daddies aren’t to good at that. Mommy needs to make the meals and do the dishes, and give bath time, wake up with them at 3 in the morning when they’re screaming because they had a nightmare. All to be up 3 or 4 hours later exhausted, and the coffee doesn’t even begin to cut it, I know my hubby works really hard at his job, sometimes in my house it is debatable whether I do anything at all.

Maybe that’s a whole point to a blog is to prove that I do work as hard if not more then he does, maybe its just to connect with the other mommies out there. I really have no idea, anyways, the only plain difference I notice between a single mom and an oilfield mom is that our hubby’s take “extended vacations” so that we can stay at home and play “house”. Where as single moms would have to pay for day care and go to work. Don’t get me wrong I work I just have the luxury of doing it from my own home. For us really it wouldn’t make sense to put R into daycare it costs money, when I can do a better job (I hope) at home.

So really the only difference that I do see is that as an oilfield mom we have a little more stability because hubby does make money.