The Ten Things I Wish My Hubby Could Understand

There are things that my hubby does that drive me bonkers, and the things I wish he would take the time to learn. We are in to deep to call it quits, I have devoted my life to being at his beck and call cause he needs me to do so. Sometimes he needs a ride, sometimes he needs someone to listen, and I do it all to no avail. These are the things he should be doing for me but doesn’t.

1. If I send you a link to an article I think would benefit the both of us, you should take the time to read it. Even if it doesn’t interest you, because its important to me. If you don’t read it and I ask you about it the least you could do is lie, instead of telling me, it didn’t interest you, or that you didn’t want to. It makes me feel important that my opinion matters. 

 

2. Get OFF YOUR DAMN PHONE. When your gone for weeks and come home, I want some time too, I don’t want to watch you play games on your phone all day. 

 

3. If you’re trying to talk to me when I’m reading don’t assume I’m not listening, I’m not you, and I can read and carry a conversation at the same time, just like I can cook and talk on the phone at the same time. 

 

4. If I ask you to do something, just do it, like NOW, not 3 weeks from now. 

 

5. I don’t want to have to beg for sex. If you’re gone for two weeks that means I’m deprived, when I want something I want it right then, it’s not always about you. Even though you make it about you to make me feel bad. If we can’t come to a compromise, it will end badly. 

 

6. IM NOT YOUR MAID. I don’t want to wake up one morning and find all your dirty clothes laying all over the house because your to lazy to put them in the laundry room, next time I’m going to throw them in the garbage. I have enough on my plate as it is. 

 

7. I don’t want to watch action movies every day. When I pick a movie I want to watch the least you could do is watch it with me instead of telling me your bored. 

 

8. Stop thinking about what you want. There comes a time in a relationship that were supposed to share our life goals and work towards them, not just your goals, again it will end badly. 

 

9. I want to sleep in, some days I need an extra hour but when you refuse to get up, it makes me angry. I do just as much as you do, so make it equal.

10. Don’t start bugging me for things first thing in the morning. If I haven’t had my coffee yet, then I’m not going to know where your things are, and I’m not going to answer twenty questions either. I’m going to yell at you, so just be warned.

 

 

 

 

Getting there

Sorry about my hiatus. We haven’t had Internet in a while so I haven’t been able to post as there is no spell Check on my phone. So I will be back Thursday or Friday. We’re having a heck tick week over here.
Oh yea sorry about the mistakes cause there probably is some I will fix it when I can use my computer

Who Needs Them?

It’s been a while since I have written anything, first it started out my laptop was in the shop cause it was doing something weird. Didn’t have it for about a week, so that kind of screwed me, my phone doesn’t have very good spell check.

 

So I got my laptop back and decided I would try to put something together, I didn’t have any ideas or motivation. I pondered for a few days, and then I got this excruciating pain in my mouth, that affected every aspect of my life. It was crippling I couldn’t think straight, nothing helped, I ended up at the dentist, which I hate for the fact that I keep giving them money and things just keep getting worse. Anyways off to the dentist I went, and after twenty minutes of torture, he finally decided to tell me that I would need a…. double root canal and two crowns, so I asked the only question I could, what’s this going to cost me?

 

He assured me he had no idea; I went home to ponder my options, double root canal or double extractions. This was all while I waited for them to phone me to let me know what it would cost. I waited and I waited, finally I phoned and asked why they hadn’t called, I was pretty sure it was a time sensitive issue. When they finally gave me the estimate for the root canal I almost had a heart attack, she said to me on the phone “option 1 will cost you about 5000”, her tone of voice was like it was the most normal thing in the world. Well my second option will cost me about 85 dollars mind you I will be down two more teeth on one side, where I already had two pulled, but being a mom and paying bills, I don’t have an extra 5000 to dish out for two teeth. I’m not sure who would, that’s crazy in my mind, and the tooth they wanted it for I have had filled five times over and the fillings just fall out anyways.

 

I go to the dentist in the morning so that he can remove them and maybe I can get back to some semblance of life. People wonder why I despise the dentist, well this is why, you pay them a bunch of money over and over and then there is always more money they ask you for. It will never end I could have no teeth and I still need to pay them to allow me to have teeth, it’s a cruel world.

Who needs teeth anyways, I may be down four all on one side but I still have a bunch more in there.

 

 

Check The Toy Box?

This morning I was going through my sons toy box, trying to find some missing toys. Well I never did find the missing toys I did find a few other things.

I found my laptop mouse, three old cell phones, my missing cord for my Kobo, three forks (no wonder I had none). Twelve missing soothers ( kept buying more cause they kept disappearing). Three books, two cups, four spoons, and a box of Cheerios that went missing.

Your probably thinking how can you not notice those things missing. I knew they were missing but Rueben is a master of hiding places, he also has enough toys to fill three toy boxes so he put them in there and covered them with toys, and when I put the rest of the toys away I didn’t notice. Until he started unloading his toy box and I decided to help find some missing toys. Well looks like he’s going to need to find a new hiding place cause I’m on to him.

Also need to watch his toy box more carefully.

Broken Promises

I know that I never talked about my new years resolutions. This is what I promised my self I would do this year.

1.Get in shape

2. Keep my house cleaner

3. Be better at this stay at home mom thing

4. Start my ideas for my book

5.Spend more time playing with my son

These were my five promises, that i have already broken. Im not getting into shape, even though I said I would. I got a kinnect for my Xbox and then went out and got fitness evolved 2012, it basically turns my living room into a home gym. I was doing great the first week, I was following the program, I ended up loosing seven pounds. then the last 2 weeks nothing, I havent been finding time to even turn it on to try. I ended up gaining ten pounds, so now I weigh more than when I started. Really need to try to get back to that one.

I wanted to become the perfect stay at home mom, which also means keeping my house super clean all the time, which means dishes are done, laundry is done, and everything else is spotless. Instead its more like the same as it was before, dishes at least made it to the sink. pile of clean laundry that has yet to be folded in two weeks. I have a pile of laundry that still needs to be done. So much for that one.

I also wanted to get started on ideas for the book I want to write. I always knew I was going to write one. Instead I started a blog, that has seven posts I wont even read over cause Im sure I wont like them. I went out and got a book on how to get ideas for writing a book. ironic isn’t it? I havent had one good idea that could turn into a novel. Maybe this one will come to me later.

Lastly, I wanted to spend more time playing with my son, but instead its more like I try to play with him, he gets frustrated and throws a tantrum because he wants to do it himself. I just leave him to his own devices now, until he decides he can play nicely. He did however say a word, it was “duck”. Now when i ask him what he wants, he says duck for everything. At least its a step in the right direction.

There are my resolutions, and I barely even tried to fill them. Their just broken promises now. Oh well better luck next year.

Overrun By Toys

There are all kinds of toys everywhere, just not any kind of toys either. They have lights, they sing, they make animal noises, they move by themselves and they making annoying sounds. Their every where on my stairs, counter tops, in corners, all over the living room floor, in the cupboards, behind the TV, on the kitchen table and even in the bath tub. You need to remove the toys just to have a shower.

These toys are like little bombs, you accidentally bump one and they all start going off, then your slammed by the sounds of ABC’s, 123’s, the meowing, barking, mooing, and the vroom vroom of a car all at once, talk about sensory overload. Why do these little people need so many toys? All the toys that you can buy make noise, there is no such thing as a quiet toy, and they are also known as developmental.

It’s not just the toys that have taken over my house, it is also blocks, mega blocks, Lego blocks, you name it. These are the real nuisances as they fit easily into corners, and in your shoes. They have sharp edges when you step on them, or when you’re trying to get to bed silently and u accidentally kick one of these blocks into the noisy toys then your just begging for baby to wake up crying.

Lately I haven’t bothered to pick up these toys, when I pick them up and put them away they end up right back where they were in the middle of the floor, and so this is day in day out. My life has been over run by these annoying little toys.

There’s nothing like climbing into bed to find your sons books artfully placed under the pillows or his hot wheels placed at the foot of your bed.

I suppose this is the life of a stay at home mom, your house gets over run, I’m just waiting for the day when the toys come alive to get their revenge.

Sweet Words

So as Hubby and I were lying in bed, we got to talk since we only had one day together and it seemed to go by so fast. Here’s how the conversation went

Me: Your going back to work tomorrow

Hubby: Yeah and?

Me: Your supposed to be serenading me with your sweet words

Hubby: Oreo cookies

Candy canes

(Thinking)     PLUM SAUCE

Me: Laughs out Loud

Hubby: Those are sweet words babe!

My Quest For Dora

As of lately my son has been watching a lot of Dora the explorer, he is sick and it is the only thing that calms him down.

For almost a week it’s been nothing but Dora. While I was watching Dora today with him it reminded me of when I was in high school, my friends and I used to do a lot of crazy shit.

This particular day we were about 15 at the time and we decided we were going to buy a Dora backpack with the map and everything. Like the idiots we were back then we decided we were going to go on Dora’s map quest. We had to find a blue key, a yellow car in order to be able to get ice cream.

We wandered through the mall asking everyone if they had seen my blue key, and showed them Dora’s map, and everyone thought we were crazy, except this one mom, and she gave us a plastic blue key, from one of those baby rings.

We were extremely excited we had a blue key now we just needed to get a yellow car, and that would take some difficulty so we jumped on the bus and started talking about our quest for the yellow car, and everyone on the bus thought we were crazy.

One guy said to me that maybe I needed to phone the teen help line, and he pointed to one of the advertisements on the bus just above my head, I picked up my cell phone and dialled the number, I know what your thinking she must actually be crazy. I got through to a teen help lady and so I told her about my quest for Dora. I am a drama queen and using this to my advantage I started to cry, claiming “ I Cant find my little yellow car, now Dora’s going to be mad and I wont get ice cream”. This caused hysterics on the bus. Here is a 15 year old crying to the teen help line cause she cant find ice cream for Dora. Now that I think back on it, it was probably pretty hilarious to everyone, except maybe the teen help lady.

The teen lady thought I had a huge problem, what 15 year old would cry over Dora, so she patched me through to the suicide hotline, and they asked me what the problem was so I began to explain, and she said to me “ I don’t enjoy you teenager prank calling us, so please don’t phone again”.

Anyways we never did get the yellow car or the ice cream and I shortly forgot about it soon after, until of course my son wanted to watch Dora. So I thought I would share this not so proud moment of my high school years and maybe you can laugh about it to.

Parenting Ideals

The parent I always thought I would be and the parent that I am.

When your little and you dream of getting married and having children, all the visions of having that family is perfect. Then you actually get pregnant and your ideals change just a little you imagine having an easy, little baby, that is all cute smiles and giggles who listens so intently to what you say.

Then you end up in labor in the hospital and it is nothing like what you imagined.  The baby comes out and he may be cute, usually their heads are all squished and they look like an alien.

They usually behave really well in the hospital, I know for me R was a perfect little angel, he barely cried, I fed him every 3 hours, and he slept. So then I still had a little hope that he was a perfect little baby, until I got him home, then he actually started to show his true colors, waking up and puking everywhere, and stinky diapers, and he didn’t sleep more than 2 hours at a time, this is what we should have been expecting all along. So now throw a baby in with my hubby’s work schedule, so here I am after 47 hours of labor and a c section and I am so tired I can barely get up off the couch, and hubby is at work, and is going to be there for at least the first 3 weeks I had R, so all in all by the end of the first 6 months, I am still as tired as if I just had a baby, and they don’t tell you about the resentment you will feel toward a spouse that is never there.

I always thought I would be a good parent, I would be one of those people who takes her child into the mall and he is happy to just sit in the stroller and watch me shop, you would never see him throw a tantrum, and every one would comment about what a good parent you are. When in reality this is what happens, you take him to the mall

Expect him to play quietly in his stroller and instead he is throwing the toys on the floor and screaming because he wants to get out, when you go to the grocery store and he’s taking boxes off the shelf and chewing through them and dumping contents on the floor.

I also never imagined being one of those parents that goes out and strikes up a conversation with some random person at the store either, but that’s exactly what I do, and for some reason I have no idea why.

What you dream parenting will be like and what it is actually are two different things, you get dirty diapers, spit up, poop on your floor, and toys everywhere that your constantly stepping on, they don’t just play quietly either. They are climbing on things and taking the dishes out of your dishwasher and emptying the contents of your garbage, and before you know it those 3 hours of cleaning you just did need to be repeated, you have a mountain of laundry that doesn’t get done very often and the clean laundry usually sits in the middle of the floor.

Things only get worse as your kids get older, they start throwing things down the stairs and breaking things, and they’re knocking your picture frames off your wall, trying to flush the toys down the toilet because it looks like a fun receptacle, and my favorite taking all your vent covers off your vents so they can dump their soother/pacifiers down there, you start potty training and their aim is horrible and they learn how to aim it just right so it goes all down your wall, the worst of all they don’t listen to anything you say they just look at you like your some kind of crazy woman, that talks just for her own enjoyment

I wouldn’t change being a parent for anything, no matter how much I think I want to. The exhaustion and everything else that goes along with it, is just apart of the experience, I have had it a little bit harder than most parents, but a little easier than some parents, I have had the financial security some parents don’t have, but also don’t have the support others have, and no one to celebrate the milestones with either. I just take the frustrations one day at a time and hope I’m still alive to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I know the fun is just beginning we haven’t even hit the terrible twos yet.

The Invader Is Landing

So hubby let me know he is on his way home today.

YAY! So now that means it is time to get down to the grind, before the invader lands in my home.

This means I have dishes to be done, laundry to be thrown in the wash to make it look like I actually did something, and the rest of the general house chores I neglect while he is gone.

Why does he have to come home today, why can’t I have at least another day, he’s only been gone a week. Now don’t get me wrong I love my hubby very much, but when he comes home, I need to have the house in perfect order and pretend it was that way all along, sometimes I just dread the homecoming, I feel like he is taking over my space. You see when he’s gone I am solely responsible for everything, and I don’t need to share my bed or not watch TV in the evening in the fear of waking him up, and I can sleep in the middle of the bed. He comes home and I’m forced into the corner because he takes over, hence why I call him the invader.

Here is usually how the homecoming goes, he blows in at 9 at night and he drops all his dirty clothes in the entry way along with a rig bag and some really dirty boots, he usually reeks like expired gas (if only there was such thing). He usually never has the decency to shower before he heads home from work. Then he usually says hello to me sheds the rest of his clothes and goes to bed and that is that.

So is it so wrong for me to want him to stay at work just a little longer?